I have fallen in love with Jacqueline.
The ATHF characters on the ice cream flavor tags at the Derb amuse me so much
Rec Code of Conduct, Rule 83: Do not look directly at the person on the elliptical next to yours.
If you don’t have the Yik Yak app you aren’t living.
Does PETA care if the chicken I eat is organic or not? I don’t care, I was just wondering. I’m still eating the chicken.
Has anyone called 911 yet or is shawty still burning on the dance floor?
Willie the Wildcat would beat the crap out of every other Big 12 mascot, hands down.
Please, take your slow walking pace to another campus!
Guy in my class said we were gonna get 2 days in the 80′s, but instead we get a slap in the face like this.
Q: Why didn’t the rooster ride on the roller coaster? A: He was chicken!
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
I totally understand how batteries feel because I’m rarely ever included in things either.
Imagine how creepy Homer Simpson would look if he were a real person.
If you are looking for a song to sing just go with anything by Nickelback or Creed.
The best karaoke song is definitely “Don’t Stop Believin” by Journey.
Why do sorority girls travel in groups of odd numbers? Because they can’t even.
To the person looking for a good karaoke song: go with “Who Let the Dogs Out” and just see what happens.
The best way to stay engaged in geology is to take a different class.
To the person who stole the magnets off the back of my car: I will find you, and I will get my revenge. You have been warned.
If Greek Week wanted to have a REAL Hunger Games competition, it should include Basic Rifle Marksmanship and a Combatives tournament.
Couches do not belong in public bathrooms. Either do coffee tables.
YOU CAN’T JUST TAKE A SHARP 90 ONTO THE ROAD AND EXPECT THE WORLD TO BE READY TO STOP!